Merry Christmas

Update

It's been a long time since I've updated my blog. In fact, since I use Facebook for so many things, I really neglect my blog all together. Pictures and updates are posted there, so I apologize for not keeping up this site.

I am a week away from completing my first semester at Eastern Illinois in the master of clinical counseling program. I really enjoyed my three classes: theories, professional orientation and pre-practicum (like a counseling lab experience). I am looking forward to some time away from school so I can enjoy the holidays and focus on my family.

MY FAMILY: Ryan is doing so well in his position as an inspection engineer at Marathon. I couldn't be more proud of him. Almost daily we comment about what a difference and blessing this job is compared to the drama and frustration of his last position.

Kayla turns one in 8 days! We have a cupcake themed party planned for family. The next day she will be dedicated at our church in Robinson. It seems like there are so many changes each day now. She is picking up words, funny mannerisms, interacting intentionally with us and starting to walk! Last night, while I was at class, Ryan and his brother saw Kayla take her first four steps.

Here is a little (lame) video of her using the walker to cruise around and her favorite word "woof". She also likes to say "cat". Occassionally she'll say "mom", but is more likely to say "Ash" (cousin Ashlyn) or "ice". And the sideways video is Kayla playing with her toy...I'm not sure how to turn it! :0

First Family Vacation

We spent a wonderful week in Indian Rocks Beach, FL (near Tampa) mid-August. We rented a 2 bedroom penthouse condo on the ocean and since Kayla is still so little, we didn't make plans to do more than sleep, eat and swim.

It was really fun to expose her to the waves, pelicans and sand. She wasn't crawling just yet, so mostly she sat on a beach towel and tried to eat the sand. It was more fun for her when we went to the pool and let her float in her "baby float". On her first try she was a little retisent, but the next day she was excited to kick her chubby little legs in the water and play with mommy & daddy.

We ate in half the time-which is fun for Ryan since he loves to cook and for the other meals we ventured out and had fun trying new restaraunts. Ryan especially loved the seafood and the other diners seemed to have fun watching Kayla and telling us how cute she is! :)

Crawling Kayla

She's been scooting for a few days, but we're gonna say official crawling began on Saturday Aug 24.

Thinking of crawling!

Happy Birthday Nana - Bouncing Kayla

Kayla loves her jumparoo! I thought that for Nana's birthday we might try to share a little video of her youngest grandchild living it up (and down and up and down) ;)

Kayla Photos (mostly) from March to May

Grieving Mother's Day

I began thinking this week about Mother's Day in light of the fact that both my parents and my father-in-law lost their moms this past year.
How strange to be without your mom and for my dads...without either parent now.
Being a new mom, I'm more aware of the special love between a mother and child. Kayla is my baby and she depends on me (and Ryan) for everything. Of course that will (or at least should) change in the coming years, but for better or worse, I will be one of the most important and influential people in this little person's life.
I can't imagine how strange it must be after 50-60 years of honoring your mom on Mother's Day, to suddenly not have that special person to honor. My heart goes out to them.
My heart also goes out to my friends who have been moms to little babies that did not make it in this world, but were taken early in their little lives. They will meet their babies in Heaven and finally know the

peace and joy of knowing them. I hurt for their loss that is often unacknowledged.

Finally, my heart goes out to my aunt and Jeff's parents as this Mother's Day is undoubtedly a reminder that their little boys are no longer with them. OK-Jeff was probably never very "little" :) BUT he was their son and I know that loss is poignant even 6 years after his home-going.
I have found comfort in this passage from Ecclesiastes. I hope it is comforting to you as well.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

Life as a new mom

more to come...

Kayla's New Trick

Kayla turned four months old on 4/13/08 and at her 4 month doctor's appointment this Monday the doctor asked if she was able to straighten her legs and place weight on them. I would say so! :) This is her (and her dad's) favorite new "trick"! She can proudly stand on his hands and balance herself for quite a while.

Death & Grieving

What a difficult weekend: saying goodbye to my grandmother and remembering the anniversary of Jeff's home going 6 years ago Sunday (4/6/02).

Below is a poem that has been very meaningful to me:

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much left yet to do.
It seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

Author Unknown

My sweet grandma (Meem)

Edna B. Swingley, 88, of Arlington Heights, former longtime resident of Palatine. Beloved wife of 53 years of the late Charles E.; loving mother of David (Carolyn, nee Wilkin) and C. Stephen (Wendy, nee Willson) Swingley; dear grandmother of Chris (Andrea), Dan (Delphine), Todd (Jessica) Swingley, Jennifer (Todd) Nagel and Gretchen (Ryan) Corn; dear great-grandmother of nine. Memorial Service Saturday, April 5, 1 p.m., at the First United Methodist Church of Palatine, 123 N. Plum Grove Rd., Palatine. Interment private. Memorials appreciated for P.E.O. Foundation in care of Edna Swingley memorial fund, 3700 Grand Ave., Des Moines, IA 50312, www.peointernational.org. Arrangements by Ahlgrim Family Funeral Home, Palatine, 847-358-7411.

Meem memories:

It’s difficult to know how to summarize or share with you some of the reasons Meem was so special to me. As I’ve been reminiscing the last few days, two traits stand out to me: her creativity and her caring nature.

When we were at Meem’s, there was always something fun or interesting to do. We rarely were in front of the television (unless it was the Bozo show), but rather running up and down the little hill in the back yard (that to us seemed like a huge mountain), bouncing a ball back and forth together in the driveway, rolling/cutting/and decorating dozens of gingerbread cookies every Christmas, playing jacks or pick up stix on the large oval braided rug, eating home made pickles with dinner or walking down the road to the Westerberg’s farm to pet the llamas, watch the emu’s and feed the ducks.

Meem’s creativity showed in her gorgeous garden, where she skillfully cared for a variety of flowers. They were beautiful in her garden and then again beautiful as she arranged them for display in the house or dried them to create special keepsakes. For many years she cross stitched pieces for family and friends and would knit little caps for the newborns at the community hospital. She even taught me how to cross stitch small pieces and helped me with my first latch-hook rug! Her delicious home-made meals and deserts were made with effort and love. She told me on many occasions how much she enjoyed her home economics class in high school and how she admired her instructor. I remember one piece of funny baking advice she shared with me was that the best way to get all the batter off the mixer’s beaters was to use your fingers and lick it clean! Meem clearly enjoyed the creative aspects of being a mom and grandmother.

Another quality that stands out to me about Meem was her caring nature. She was involved in the community through volunteer work at the hospital, where she ran the “gift cart” for years. She also spent time working with the local PEO chapter, a philanthropic organization which focused on the advancement of women. I know Meem & Grandad had dear friendships that extended over decades. And as my grandmother, she attended numerous birthday parties, mailed me Hallmark cards (and often money) for every holiday, and listened to my stories and dreams.

We shared a few special seasons, one while I attended the local community college down the street from her. Twice a week, I’d join her for lunch between my classes. I learned a lot about my grandmother as a woman and individual. I also enjoyed running into her on campus occasionally where she would be going to her aquasize class.

Another unique season we shared was when I was first widowed. Meem was very supportive, loving and understanding. Although I had only been married a few short years before being widowed, and Meem had been married over 50 years before being widowed, it was comforting to talk to her about the pains of losing a spouse.

I know these last few years were hard for Meem as she lost the ability to do certain things she enjoyed or just basic daily tasks. I will miss her dearly, I was very blessed to have such a caring and creative woman as my friend and grandmother.

Happy Easter from Kayla

Moving

There has been quite a lot going on these last few weeks with us. For those who don't know, Ryan lost his job without any warning on 1/1 (the day he returned from holiday & Kayla's birth). I can't even begin to share how disgusted we were with the dishonest, unprofessional and heartless behavior from the company he helped get up and running in Indianapolis. I'll just say that their local business is not going well without Ryan and the customers that were once the source of his most difficult interactions had become his greatest advocates. Ryan was an outstanding employee and their loss is Marathon’s gain.

After searching Indianapolis, Chicagoland, and his hometown of Robinson for jobs, we received an amazing offer from Marathon Refinery in Robinson, IL to work as an engineer in the Maintenance department. Leaving Indianapolis weeks after having a baby would not have been our original plan, but we continue to be amazed by God's clear leading in that direction. Marathon offered us a great relocation package which includes buying our home here if it hasn't sold in 90 days. That was incredibly comforting to us given the current real estate market and the fact that our neighborhood currently has 43 houses for sale! They will also help with all sorts of other moving costs, including packing, loading & unpacking at our new home.

OUR NEW HOME! We looked & looked, but didn't find anything we were excited about in Robinson. We really were hoping for a 4 bdrm home so that we could have an office AND guest room (we're hoping you all will come visit). As we were getting ready to drive home from our house hunting weekend, we agreed to look at an unlisted home of a member of Ryan's parents' church. The house was perfect for us. Although it only had 3 bdrms, they are large enough that one can serve dual purpose as office/guest room. The gentleman who owns the home was getting prepared to put it on the market. In fact, other people had expressed interest in buying the house, but he insisted that he felt God was leading him to work with Ryan & I. Ryan is currently in Robinson closing on the house! He has been a blessing to work with and we hope this is the beginning of a new friendship.

Being from the suburbs of Chicago, I'm pretty used to (and enjoy) my anonymity, so I've been a little nervous about moving to a town of 7,500. Another great way God has given me a peace about the move is from a card that arrived in the mail a few days after the house search from the seller's girlfriend. She had been widowed too and sent a nice note suggesting that we might have a few things in common and extending a hand of friendship to me. Most of you know how special my friends are to me, so her kindness was very comforting. Apparently small towns have their upside: :) when people know you & your business, they can (and have) reach out in friendship and understanding. I don’t expect that EVERYONE I meet will want to become my friend, however it was another piece of my confidence that Robinson is where God is leading us (for now).

FOR NOW? Yes, Marathon is very open to employees relocating (aka cross-training) after putting in at least 2 years in one location. Although we are excited to share a season of life with Ryan's family & friends, we also do hope to return to city life sooner than later. With that said, we are open to the fact that we could LOVE small town living and put down permanent roots. We'll see. :)

Ryan’s new position will allow me to stay at home with Kayla. That had been our heart’s desire all along, SO we are so happy to see that become a reality. She was 3 months yesterday and we’re both so thankful that we have had 3 months together EVERY DAY as a family. Most dads don’t have that privilege. We adore our beautiful and spirited little girl, however parenting has been a challenge at times with Kayla’s inconsolable crying. I don’t know how to diagnose colic, BUT I suspect that’s part of the issue. The other part is acid reflux, for which she is now on medication that helps her a bunch. She has recently begun interacting with us and we crack up to see her toothless smile and her poignant giggles (mostly at Ryan’s dancing or the ponytail up high on my head).

Realizing that our move will leave me without outside work responsibilities, I began reconsidering graduate school. For many years I’ve wanted to get a counseling degree that would allow me to work in private practice, but the timing hasn’t been right. There is a junior college in Robinson, but not a school that offers graduate degrees. To get to a counseling program, I’d have to attend either Indiana State University or Eastern Illinois University (both an hour away). Their application deadline was about a week after we decided to move. I quickly focused on writing the essays, filling out forms, expediting transcripts & GRE scores and requesting letters of recommendation. They all arrived the day of the deadline! PHEW! I have an interview at EIU on Monday. They accept only 15-20 to their program and the director said there have been over 50 applications. :/ I really don’t know much about either program, so hopefully the interview times will give me a better feel if I want to pursue a degree at either school. (If you all know about either program, please let me know). We’re not 100% certain that I’ll attend school this fall, but I knew if I didn’t meet the March 1st deadline, it wouldn’t even be an option AND I like to have options! : )

With all this going on, I finished out 4.5 years of working for Church World Service. My boss was gracious to allow me to only return for 2.5 weeks on a part time basis. That was a relief with all the other things demanding our attention and a baby that relies on me for nourishment.
We’ve begun saying our goodbyes here, however we are only two hours from Indianapolis. Ryan has orthodontic work that he’ll have to finish out up here, so we’re certain to be in town at least every 6 weeks for a few days. It is incredibly difficult to close this chapter of life. Indianapolis was a fresh start for me after losing Jeff unexpectedly to an aneurysm on 4/6/02. I sensed God leading me here to begin a new journey with Him as my partner. I’ve made some amazing friends, worshiped at a loving and challenging church and enjoyed the good food, shopping and fun that Indianapolis offers for MUCH less than Chicago.

I think that should catch you all up for the most part. Below are some pictures of the house we’re buying. Our new address will be:

The Corn Family
11651 N 1050th St
Robinson, IL 62454

I am keeping my cell phone number, but Ryan has a new local one (let me know if you need it).

Ah-how could I forget...the kitties! :) They aren't gonna know what hit them! Oscar started on Prozac after Kayla was born and he's a much happier creature. His litter box issues are resolved, he isn't so anxious and noisy and we've even caught him snuggling with Emmy! We hope to keep them indoors once we move. Even though we'll be on an acre of land, there is a busier road in front of our house and I'm confident none of the cats are smart enough to dodge traffic. I'm hoping to trick them into thinking the sunroom IS outside!

Kayla Ann Corn's Portraits

Kayla was about 2 months old when we had these photos taken. We meant to take advantage of the studio's special deal for "one pose", but after seeing ALL the cute poses we ended up "having" to buy the full package! :) Probably pretty common for new proud parents I suppose. At least they gave us a CD with all the photo files on it!

SMILING!

How beautiful is this smile?